lovelots to the fools

cry-free

2009-02-08T06:48:00.000-08:00

god knows how many times ive attempted to cry to relieve the stress thats been running through me. yet, no matter what i do, no tears fall from my very eyes.
and yes, it scares.

the call

2009-01-24T23:08:00.000-08:00

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

-regina spektor

BETTER singles are WE.

2009-01-15T01:40:00.000-08:00

over time, you tell yourself that you have become better and even brag to everyone that you are no longer bitter towards love and whatever. but when you really think deeper, you hate to admit that something is going all wrong. you know you've moved on and you're so sure about it but it seems that you're just not ready to take a step forward from the spot you're at. what i'm saying is that, why does it have to be so hard to open your heart to someone new? and why does his name have to be the answer when youre asked who you want to hurry back to you by any forms of miracle?

they say, you can only let go completely of someone when the next one comes along. maybe they're right. id choose to believe so too. but what happens when a few show up but none of them you want? it becomes too difficult for you because the truth is, you seek for the one closely similar to that of the past and when you find no one, it's when you realize that what you really want is having to experience the past once more even not with the same person anymore. but then again you know very well that he's not coming back and even if he does, things will never be as perfect as before.

bs songs for the bs souls

2009-01-13T19:50:00.002-08:00

darlene--
Tried to erase the way your kisses taste But some things a girl can never forget.
(P.S. im still not over you- rihanna)

judith--
Why are we still friends? when everything says we should be more than we are.
(why are we still friends- 98 degrees)

marie--
Why do we hurt each other? Why do we push love away?
(water runs dry-boyz II men)

nicole--
And i ache to remember All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said.
(Come on get high-matt nathanson)

friza--
I'll erase your taste and let you go slowly. Suddenly it wasn't enough, your lust disguised as love.
(Guillotine-Urbandub)

kim--
Strike me down with lightning Let me feel you in my veins I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain
(Thunder- boys like girls)

joyce--
Yes, its sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.
(unknown)

trixie--
And all of a sudden when you left I didn't know how to follow It's like a shot that spun me around and now my heart left I feel so empty and hollow
(Rehab-rihanna)

hate that i love you

2009-01-13T18:31:00.000-08:00

--- applies no more.

you see, it's been a year. I returned, and may i just say that i am so much better now. single still, but not anymore bitter. :D

one year that is
-- with an empty heart

but still, im happy and i have always managed to.

who needs that "guy" anyway, when i know that i have my friends, my loves.

being single never means you're alone nor does it mean you have to go home alone by yourself.
--sean,joyce or ian can take me home safely on a dark niggght.
being single never means you have to spend your own cash on an expensive dinner.
--whats the use of your friends' birthdays?
being single never means you get no goodmorning texts by some special people.
--forwarded messages in the morning will always reach you.
being single never means you are restricted of getting human warmths on cold days.
--huggable friends may become your teddy bears.
being single never means you are not to go to the mountains for some cuddles.
--fieldtrips and new acquaintances should be welcomed.
being single never means you are to get jealous when you see lovers pass you by.
--you can have your chance in god's time, ya know.
being single never means you have to enjoy eskimo pies and belgian waffles with no one.
--i can always share it best with yen2
being single never means you do not care about anyone in particular.
-- i care about bs, really, i do. and to the rest of my better friendssss
being single never means you were not loved, are not loved at all, or not to be loved.
coz you were loved.
( --sadly)
coz you are LOVED.
(--truly)
.. and will be loved.
( --madly)

AND it is when you are single when you appreciate things you fail to notice before and it's when you do that you realize that they matter more.

soul breaks with the night

2008-03-02T02:43:00.000-08:00

last night-- was the greatest night.

the two of us-- we were miserable.
and will forever be.

so my sweetest good bye to you.

"since you decided to push me away,
make sure that when all else fails,
you're never coming back.
coz once i turn around and leave you,
you'll never get to love me again."

-lovelots to the fool

inyo pa ron..

2008-02-24T20:34:00.000-08:00

he told me that i was just another face in the crowd.

so i told him that he was just another jerk up the street.

maybe it was my fault to interrupt his words.

because while he was walking away i heard him murmur..

"another face in the crowd...

that managed to take my breath away."

while i found myself saying...

"another jerk up the street,

that i'd die to live next to.."

---waaaaaaaaaaaa, booooooooooo.

hahahaha

weird

2008-02-24T20:15:00.000-08:00

i see them from afar.
they were too happy.
they even failed to notice me.
then,
i find myself thinking,
how did they seem to manage?
how did they keep up?
its been years.
and still,
they are still together.

i was excited for the day.
it's 25.
but..
both of them were mad.
really mad.

he was shouting.
she was screaming.
he was yelling at her,
as she was crying.

i was just seated.
looking at the both of them.
how could she see seem to manage?
how could he be so unkind?

it's her day,
can't he even realize?

happy birthday my mother hen.

abcdefg

2008-02-22T08:24:00.000-08:00

you deserve to be happy :)
and i know right..
oh well, i guess you're even happier coz today you're a year wiser. or so i thought. haha

friends- and just that.

the friendship-- i choose to keep it. and not any eskimo pie or some other snickers and kisses could ever outweigh the love i have for the friendship we have.

still wishing you the bestest.

you made my day but i wasnt able to make yours. (sorry)

silly but true,
i love how you roll sweet nothings that make me fall apart :(

how soon is soon?

2008-02-21T16:58:00.000-08:00

so i guess, i havent had enough yet. ive always known what hurts but still.. i hold on. ive always managed to. so i wait for him to hurt me even more, coz then i know. ill be more than glad to let him go. for now, i wait.. but i really wish it'd be soon. so sooon. its just what i need. i have to get what i need. soon. more hurt than ill be satisfied. and then a smile, that simple gesture ive always missed, that of which people missed too, may appear. and then ill suddenly feel an unfamiliar feeling, happiness. its whats real.